I caught a Magikarp the other day and it was BIG! So BIG that it thought it could take over other beings’ lives. Usually, Magikarps only say ”MAGIKARP” amirite? But this one went a littul overboard.
Lovely old, young-looking Magikarp! You evolved! . . . But not in a very good way.

Fish should remain in the sea. Observe from afar and understand how humans live and then shall you be considered as an appreciable being if ever you try to set foot on our peaceful Earth. Too bad that you left your comfort zone and thought that life was all about you manipulating others.

When one enters the human world, one must know how to act and stand up for himself. By doing evil deeds undercover, oh very small magikarp, things could never turn out good for you. Using others is not an option, one should say what one thinks and not use FAILING splash attacks and try to run away.
There is no meaning in hiding in the abysses of the sea. SPLASH ATTACKS won’t save you nowwwwww~

Well, they DO say that manipulation is the weapon of the weak. But keep in mind that there are stronger fish out there that also eat fish O_O

I would like to thank Aering for this upcoming idea :
Our COMPLAINT of little Magikarp a.k.a no ballz

Enjoy ~

It is imperative that I give you the following information, which Mr. No Balls, M.D. wants concealed from the public. Here’s a quick review: I can’t make heads or tails of Mr. No Balls’s activities. I mean, does he want to prosecute, sentence, and label people as grungy nepotism enthusiasts without the benefit of any evidence whatsoever, or doesn’t he? It’s debatable whether priggism has long been his lodestar. However, no one can disagree that Mr. No Balls craves more power. I say we should give him more power—preferably, 10,000 volts of it.

Mr. No Balls has had some success in turning publishers of hate literature loose against us good citizens. I find that horrifying and frightening but we all should have seen it coming. We all knew that Mr. No Balls keeps trying to damn this nation and this world to Hell. And if we don’t remain eternally vigilant, he will indisputably succeed. No one that I speak with or correspond with is happy about this situation. Of course, I don’t speak or correspond with infernal, meddlesome lowlifes, Mr. No Balls’s surrogates, or anyone else who fails to realize that if I withheld my feelings on this matter, I’d be no less raucous than Mr. No Balls.

We must unequivocally speak out against the worst kinds of balmy trolls there are. Does that sound extremist? Is it too rude for you? I’m sorry if it seems that way, but that’s life.

Most people don’t realize this, but Mr. No Balls has, in fact, presented evidence in support of his claim that genocide, slavery, racism, and the systematic oppression, degradation, and exploitation of most of the world’s people are all completely justified. Of course, his evidence has been rather flimsy in the credibility department. It’s generally a lot easier to find evidence that there is no place in this country where we are safe from Mr. No Balls’s torchbearers, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack. I would like to put forth the possibility that just the other day, some of his snarky adherents forced a prospectus into my hands as I walked past. The prospectus described Mr. No Balls’s blueprint for a world in which the most wrongheaded spoiled brats you’ll ever see are free to prevent us from recognizing the vast and incomparable achievements, contributions, and discoveries that are the product of our culture. As I dropped the prospectus onto an overflowing wastebasket I reflected upon the way that there is something grievously wrong with those self-absorbed maniacs who jump on everything that is written, said, or even implied and label it as either flagitious or infantile. Shame on the lot of them!

Mr. No Balls even condones the mean-spirited drug-induced ravings that will curry favor with what I call ostentatious manipulators of the public mind using a barrage of flattery, especially recognition of their “value”, their “importance”, their “educational mission”, and other gormless nonsense. It doesn’t do us much good to become angry and wave our arms and shout about the evils of his intimations in general terms. If we want other people to agree with us and join forces with us, then we must provide a positive, confident, and assertive vision of humanity’s future and our role in it. By his standards, if you have morals, believe that character counts, and actually raise your own children—let alone teach them to be morally fit—you’re definitely an inerudite creep. My standards—and I suspect yours as well—are quite different from Mr. No Balls’s. For instance, I clearly claim that if he had done his homework, he’d know that he is out to bribe the parasitic with the earnings of the productive. And when we play his game, we become accomplices. For the purpose of this discussion, let’s say that I call upon Mr. No Balls to stop his oppression, lies, immorality, and debauchery. I call upon him to be a man of manners, principles, honour, and purity. And finally, I call upon him to forgo his desire to promote promiscuity and obscene language.

My next point of order is that Mr. No Balls is an opportunist. That is, he is an ideological chameleon, without any real morality, without a soul. The practical struggle which now begins, sketched in broad outlines, takes the following course: He doesn’t use words for communication or for exchanging information. He uses them to disarm, to hypnotize, to mislead, and to deceive. For those of you who don’t know, Mr. No Balls says that he is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people. But then he turns around and says that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. You know, you can’t have it both ways, Mr. No Balls. As long as the beer keeps flowing and the paychecks keep coming, his idolators don’t really care that his prophecies run contrary to even the most cursory observation of the real world. I’ll say that again because I want it to sink in: Relative even to annoying evildoers, he is more excitable, more violent, less sexually restrained, more impulsive, more prone to crime, less altruistic, less inclined to follow rules, and less cooperative.

Consequently, Mr. No Balls speaks like a true defender of the status quo—a status quo, we should not forget, that enables him to take advantage of human fallibility to unleash an unparalleled wave of narcissism. The foregoing analysis is self-evident even if it is sometimes overlooked. Less evident are the specific ways in which we should debate the efficacy of his self-deceiving, snooty deeds. From a public-policy perspective, the tone of his denunciations is eerily reminiscent of that of maledicent, impolitic opportunists of the late 1940s in the sense that every so often you’ll see him lament, flog himself, cry mea culpa for leading to the destruction of the human race, and vow never again to be so besotted. Sadly, he always reverts to his old behavior immediately afterwards, making me think that one of the things I find quite interesting is listening to other people’s takes on things. For instance, I recently overheard some folks remark that as the adherents of Randian objectivism believe, he doesn’t care about accountability in our public systems. Furthermore, as the adherents of empiricism observe, Mr. No Balls is an inspiration to bilious calumniators everywhere. They panegyrize his crusade to champion censorship in the name of free speech, intolerance in the name of tolerance, and oppression in the name of freedom, and, more importantly, they don’t realize that I know some ugly morons who actually believe that the few of us who complain regularly about Mr. No Balls’s apologues are simply spoiling the party. Incredible? Those same people have told me that children should get into cars with strangers who wave lots of yummy candy at them. With such people roaming about, it should come as no surprise to you that when workable solutions to a problem elude you, sometimes it helps to denounce Mr. No Balls’s metanarratives. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Mr. No Balls in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that if one could get a Ph.D. in Pyrrhonism, Mr. No Balls would be the first in line to have one.

If I have characterized Mr. No Balls’s apparatchiks up to now as unprofessional and doctrinaire, it is only because teenagers who want to shock their parents sometimes maintain—with a straight face—that I’m some sort of cully who can be duped into believing that the Earth is flat. Fortunately, most parents don’t fall for this fraud because they know that Mr. No Balls’s jokes cannot stand on their own merit. That’s why they’re dependent on elaborate artifices and explanatory stories to convince us that we have no reason to be fearful about the criminally violent trends in our society today and over the past ten to fifteen years. It may be unfashionable to say so and it may surprise a few of you out there, but if five years ago I had described a person like Mr. No Balls to you and told you that in five years he’d spawn a society in which those with the most deviant lifestyle, intolerant behavior, or personal failures are given the most by the government, you’d have thought me sexist. You’d have laughed at me and told me it couldn’t happen. So it is useful now to note that, first, it has happened and, second, to try to understand how it happened and how most people want to be nice; they want to be polite; they don’t want to give offense. And because of this inherent politeness, they step aside and let Mr. No Balls resolve a moral failure with an immoral solution.

It may seem to many people, maybe even the majority, that I’ve never bothered Mr. No Balls. Yet Mr. No Balls wants to perpetuate harmful stereotypes. Whatever happened to “live and let live”? Human nature being what it is, it is not surprising that were he alive today, Hideki Tojo would be his most trustworthy ally. I can see Tojo joining forces with Mr. No Balls to help him tell us how to live, what to say, what to think, what to know, and—most importantly—what not to know.

The only weapons Mr. No Balls has in his intellectual arsenal are book burning, brainwashing, and intimidation. That’s all he has, and he knows it. We all need to be aware of each other’s existence as intelligent, feeling, human beings, even if some of us are aberrant, debauched traitors. I guess what I really mean to say is that if his thinking were cerebral rather than glandular, Mr. No Balls wouldn’t consider it such a good idea to beat plowshares into swords. Out of the vast number of devastating evils for which opportunism-oriented losers are directly or indirectly responsible, I shall pick out only a single one which is most in keeping with the inner essence of Mr. No Balls’s truculent credos: despotism. In order to understand the motivation behind his complaints it is important first to love the Earth and everything that flowers and crawls upon it. Mr. No Balls plans to make his prevarications a key dynamic in modern charlatanism by viscerally defining “floccinaucinihilipilification” through the experience of headlong unilateralism. What can you do about that? Start by reading about how I’m giving Mr. No Balls the benefit of the doubt, which is more than he’s ever given me. Become informed about the deceit, lies, and propaganda surrounding his promotion of denominationalism. Tell everyone you know that in any decent society, Mr. No Balls would be just another loquacious survivalist standing on a streetcorner braying his nonsensical diatribes from atop a soapbox. Nevertheless, he has managed to gain some credibility among frowzy malefactors because they relate to her message that he has achieved sainthood. Let me sum up. Mr. No Balls, M.D. has made some very dangerous assumptions about eccentric busybodies. Source : http://www.pakin.org/complaint/

WELL, wasn’t that fun KIDoS (;

Stay tuned for MORE phail! Because, you know… There’ll always be more from where THAT came from!

n1xx